Fuck what a Shit

Today…
Was away and not feeling comfortable at all.
Got back home – Laid down.

I need a #2!
It was huge.
Okay, after a while, another 1 (2!)!
Huge as well, drops of blood on t.p..
Err.. Oh well, yeah, it was the second huge one I dropped today!
Then… the unthinkable.
A turd… third!
Yet another huge load, this time less hard, and dripaly.
So put some tp between in there.

Now… the first one, I was looking at a Danica Patrick pic and, had I been remotely alone would have lost one over her probably.
Second, likewise.
The drips of blood, Danica gets visits from her Auntie!
Thinking stuff like –
Danica, keep the pressure on..!
Team, I have a leak…
Does she just let it go into her racing overalls!!?
Or is she on the Pill?
Sponsor Danica, when she’s ‘wounded’.
She only has an open wound…

Yesterday! I had another #2 thinking of Sporty Sally Nugent.
Pooping as a Sport?
Noises are minus points, ‘smelly’ gestures and not washing your hands immediate DSQ!

I mean, 3 such huge loads(/turds)!

Recently, I was shocked at Sonali from bbc SPORT to retweet … ‘between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit’.
Both to me.
Hers took about 35 minutes.
Helen Skelton, who follows Caitlin Moran, who writes the shit out of fuck ,/apparently/, took 46 minutes and 1 second.

Okay, like –

Who would not be DSQ’d when not washing her hands?
PROVIDED IT WAS HARD/SOLID.
Ellie Harrison.
Victoria Justice.
Ariana Grande.
Elisabeth Gillies.
Mohini CBBC.
Maria Sharapova.
Danica Patrick.
Helen Skelton.
Ellie Crisell.

Helen Skelton on her Amazone Journey –
You’re gonna cut the crap, right!?
Crew: No, we leave it in , just like when you puked!
Anyone else think she was on her period?
Asked to much of her body!?

I actually posted the loads on http://www.sex.com but suddenly everything was gone! (girlwipes)
Shame!

Finally, I was planning to pray to God and go for a walk and get the system going and it would make for a great… product?
So instead, I thank the Lord and I guess, this was it!

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